7 Healing Takeaways from Trauma Stewardship by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky
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You may have already read my book review of Trauma Stewardship by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky, where I talk about some key points from the book, highlights, hurdles, and additional resources. While that (hopefully) gives a bit of an overview on the book, I also wanted to discuss the lessons that stuck with me, which I hope will resonate with you, too!
1
Be present with yourself. This one is a little obvious because it’s also tied to one of my favorite quotes from the book. BUT it’s still really important. Here’s why: when you move through your day being pulled in a million directions, overwhelmed with the traumas that you encounter, and running a mile a minute, it’s really hard to slow down and step back. In order to do the deeper reflection outlined throughout the book, you have to be able to sit with yourself first. When you are present with yourself, you can notice what’s working and what’s not. This creates the space for the change we might need.
2
You might be taking responsibility for trauma’s impact. When we haven’t yet zoomed out to see the impacts of trauma (by being present), we might be internalizing the behaviors that are really telling us to process trauma. For example, have you ever been irritable during your work day and thought “I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today” but that irritability actually lasts weeks or even months? This guide invites us to consider how trauma transforms us from the inside and that some behaviors we might write off (like procrastinating, being irritable, numbing, and more) can actually reflect the way we are being worn down by our exposure to trauma.
3
Taking a hard look in the mirror can be, well, hard. Even as we start to understand where our behaviors come from, we still have to do something about them. It can be hard to realize how trauma exposure might be impacting us or how many warning signs have been going off without being addressed. When we take a step back and realize where our lives need work, we then have to do something about it. This can feel really overwhelming, but Laura provides a great place to start in her book.
4
Community is essential. While many wellness books are (overly) focused on the individual , Laura guides us to invite our community into our healing as well. The people who are part of our lives, whether in the work place, family, friends, our neighborhood, or even at a larger global scale, have an immense impact on our lives. We can choose to connect with people who hold us accountable and support our healing, and we can do the same for them. I really appreciated the additional reminder that community is not just about having cheerleaders, but about having people who challenge you and support you in challenging yourself.
5
Changing your environment can be necessary to your survival. Just as we orient to our community, we can also orient to our environment. I want to be mindful here that changing our environment is not always an option - we can’t always quit our jobs or move to a safer place, not to mention there are certain systems that will follow us even when we make these changes, like white supremacy and capitalism. BUT Laura finds a way to highlight changes that feel both manageable and impactful, reminding us that reducing trauma exposure is still a positive change even when we can’t eliminate trauma exposure completely. For those who decided on a “helping” profession, she normalizes that this is not where we need to stay if it’s not working for us. On a larger scale, Laura invites us to question how we interact with systems, which spaces we choose to occupy and which we do not, and to orient our decision-making to prioritize our wellness.
6
Trauma is enormous but not unmanageable. Yes, the double negative is necessary here! The enormity of trauma is a validation that’s given throughout the book, and it’s one that’s highly necessary. The more we work with the trauma, the more we tend to minimize (one of the warning signs from the book!), but having an emotional response to the hardships of our world is warranted and connects us to our humanness. Laura does a great job balancing what’s in our control and what’s not to highlight where we can make changes that are realistic and still impactful.
7
Our experiences connect us, even when they are different. This book primarily focuses on secondary trauma: for example, you’re a doctor who witnesses a patient endure a medical trauma. While there is some consideration for our own trauma history, it’s not necessarily the focus of this book. Even though there are times where that can feel alienating, there are also clear ties to how systems create trauma for each of us and how caring for ourselves can support our larger healing process. Through the interviews provided in each chapter, it’s clear that even those who are at the forefront of their work (in climate change, domestic violence, law, etc.) are still impacted by trauma exposure. This really normalizes the experience, creates a connection through shared feelings, and reminds us that intellectualizing doesn’t stop us from feeling.
Ready to get your hands on this book? You can find it on Amazon or on Bookshop. It’s also available on Audible, if you’d prefer an audio format.
More information about this book, Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky, and the Trauma Stewardship Institute, can be found in my review of the book.
Thank You for Reading!
I’d love to hear which of these lessons resonated with you most in the comments!
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